mamayuuma:

"what will your kids think of that tattoo?"
my kids aren’t going to give 2 shits because i’m not going to raise them to be a judgmental asshole like yours did

(via laughcrypeealittle)

  • *accidentally purposely turns conversation sexual*
pointlessandunnecessary:

"no u cant skip school today" 

pointlessandunnecessary:

"no u cant skip school today" 

(via laughcrypeealittle)

littlemoongoddess:

floating-world-pictures:

journeyintosuspense:

i wonder how long will i keep making this joke and itll be funny

Forever. The answer is, forever.

how very fucking dare you

littlemoongoddess:

floating-world-pictures:

journeyintosuspense:

i wonder how long will i keep making this joke and itll be funny

Forever. The answer is, forever.

how very fucking dare you

(via laughcrypeealittle)

snappingthewalls:

npmuffin replied to your photo

graffitti should be considered an officil art form….

politicians and people with white picket fences wouldn’t like that 

(via erdae)

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

I hate my school you can’t even go into a public bathroom without someone trying to be deep and artistic like what am I supposed to look around at leave your pretentiousness at the door and let me shoobie in peace

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

I hate my school you can’t even go into a public bathroom without someone trying to be deep and artistic like what am I supposed to look around at leave your pretentiousness at the door and let me shoobie in peace

(via pemsylvania)

dorkily:

hobbitofthemotherfuckinshire:

Remember there was almost another twilight book but someone leaked it so Stephanie Meyer refused to finish and I’m 98% sure it was Robert Pattinson and god bless him

yeah, it was the first twilight book again, but from Edward Cullen’s perspective. 

(via initialdick)

geeknip:

literallyrad:

today there was a snowboard race at the resort i’m staying at and i’m a pretty decent snowboarder so i thought why not try right. so i wear all black just because it’s the only color i own and i ended up winning and when the announcer came over to me he said “dude! that was pretty awesome bro, what’s your name?” and i took my helmet off like in the movies and let my hair fall out and was like “caitlin” and everyone was liKE OOOOOOH

image

(via pizza)